i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
