I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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