even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
