Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize