Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
