So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
