So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
