we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
