I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
