I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
