Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
