just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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