Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I think a kid would responsible me up
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
