I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize