So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
