this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
