ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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