talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
