thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
