So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
