I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
