I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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