I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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