officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
