and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
