respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
this will be a night to untag.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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