his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
this boner is exhausting
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
