OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
