We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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