If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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