Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
