An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
