no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
