I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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