I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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