So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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