all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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