Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
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