no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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