Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize