yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
How external is "for external use only"?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
