the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
