erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize