just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
