Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
