Quick, to the slutcave!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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