in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he told me I talked like a deaf person
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
