It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Send help, water and tortillas.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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