it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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