Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
