Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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