my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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