At least make sure they are 18
Why
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
