I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
