His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
