I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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