I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize