I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Well I just put wine in my tea
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
