You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
