dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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