so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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