Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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